心情手札@之五

原来说出口和不说出口真的有差别。

没有很在意，就心里不舒服，
然后场面很尴尬，也不知道该怎么接话。

没有怪任何人，
怪自己宅，怪自己孤僻。

没有人知道心里在想些什么。

就，心仿佛被揪着。
试着去看开，
心底却始终有个结。
或许瞒着我会更好。

又一次热脸横贴冷屁股的感觉。

难怪会一直孤单一人……

白羊座～超难受的～

 

……

在超市一个人走着。
好久没回来这里，有点生疏。

忽然看到了一间新开的韩式boutique，
不自觉走了进去。

本来想在今年走下韩风，让大家眼前一亮。

试了几件衣服，发现自己原来一点都不适合韩风。

Skinny jeans 穿起来像穿着小学生的裤！！
就算换了上衣，结果还是像个小孩子，
完全没有穿出味道……
没理由啊，我的脚算瘦耶！
是太过baby face？上半身太单薄？脚太短？身高不够？
七分窄裤让我看起来矮了一截。
上衣更糟，
没有所谓的“事业线”，肩膀又不够宽，每件松垮垮的。
我只知道如果我那样穿出去，
不是吹“韩风”，而是吹“寒风”……。:-p

(p/s: 真的是难看到… 我都不敢upload那些照片 T.T)

结果到现在都还没找到新年衣啊！怎么办？@.@

 

Why?!!

很闷啊！！！

为什么我要帮你开门的动作会得到一句酱的回应？

为什么我觉得自己好像在看你们的脸色？

为什么我觉得还是有距离感？

为什么我要热脸横贴冷屁股？

为什么我有酱多东西不会？

为什么我有一丝痛苦的感觉？

为什么我一直被人误会?

或许不是误会？

为什么这三个礼拜没有很开心？

为什么有一个怪怪的屋友？

为什么他们能撇开大家的眼光，活在自己的世界里？

为什么走了一个，又来一个把点头、摇头练到炉火纯青的？

为什么我变得那么宅，那么孤僻？

为什么男生要负责结帐？

为什么有这么多的责任要扛？

为什么长大后的烦恼酱多？

为什么我没有假期？

为什么我在这里很难专注？

为什么？为什么？？为什么？？？

最近实在有太多的为什么围绕着我……为什么？！

 

 

Life in Teluk Intan

I would say:
Being posted to Teluk Intan was indeed another short break that comes in time for us!

Everyday planning what to eat later for our breakfast, lunch and dinner
and sometimes even supper!!
However, I’m sure now I gained SOME weight!
It would be a cold day in July if I didn’t get any. :-p
Having myself realized that the trousers become tightening and more insulators forming around my waist,
I guess this is the side effects of having a way too relaxing life here.

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So long didn’t live in a big house together with housemates.
KTDI’s single room has so much privacy and private space.
That has certainly contributed to me becoming more introvert and “room-bound” (or even bed-bound)
However, I think I encounter well here.
Except 1 thing that I beh tahan~
Can you stop behaving like that ah?
People will think that we isolate you and bully you… ==
Padahal inviting you go here and there you also don’t wanna go
You wanna be alone I don’t mind,
and please say out LOUD what you want,
since we can’t read your mind…

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My god-brother is gonna have his 25^th b’thday in this coming 22 Dec
Missing his presence here a lot; wish him Happy working and happy b’thday!!

You know what, without your presence, I feel lonely here.
Nobody to talk to, and that’s why I tend to lock myself up MORE..

Sigh… I’m really not good in socializing la…
hard to chit chatting with people…
I’m not a good tukang kipas also..
not knowledgeable like our GOD here..

Hope to see you soon~

OK! Wanna finish my CWU asap! Mon has to pass up!